Dear Abby

Dear Abby,

I need advice. I read your column regularly, although I don’t agree with last week’s suggestion to the unemployed man with the “Sic semper tyrannis” forehead tattoo that he should consider a career with the Secret Service.

Anyway, I’m about as disappointed as I’ve ever been, maybe even more so than when I watched all 121 episodes over six seasons of Lost just to find out what it all meant… and never did.

You see, my wife and I moved to Timnath from Fort Collins partly because Timnath was the midpoint of the Poudre River Trail that would eventually come through here. We were once avid road bicyclists, but too many close calls with distracted drivers made the trails a safer option. And living at the trail’s midpoint meant attractive riding both east and west.

In May, the remaining one-mile section of trail finally opened, and we eagerly looked forward to safe riding again. But now there’s a new hazard—the damn e-bikes. They’re everywhere, racing recklessly and spoiling our long-awaited enjoyment.

Oh, I get it, the ability to go places while claiming to get exercise, yet with no real exertion. But these otherwise couch potatoes have no concept of bike etiquette —hence safety —cruising along at full throttle—yes, the pedaling is just for show—while gawking and talking.

Abby, please give me some advice. What can be done about these inconsiderate phonies?

Yours truly,

Troubled in Timnath

Dear Troubled in Timnath,

Go back to the road.

Sincerely,

Abby

P.S. What’s a Timnath?

Phil Goldstein is in his sixth year writing Tales from Timnath for North Forty News. Phil is a 16-year Timnath resident who is finally using his West Virginia University journalism degree after getting sidetracked 53 years ago. The views expressed herein are Phil’s only. Contact him with comments on the column at NFNTimnath@gmail.com .

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