June is Pride Month: Minding your LGBTQ+s and Why Words Matter

Annie Lindgren

North Forty News

We have all experienced incidences where the words of others have impacted how we feel about ourselves- a nickname we did not like, getting made fun of for something that makes us different, or receiving unsolicited criticism. These experiences can lead to lasting impacts on self-esteem and self-worth. They are not always malicious in intent. 

The Alliance for Suicide Prevention of Larimer County addresses the needs of populations most at risk for suicide by having dedicated Peer Outreach Coordinators who work directly with those populations. One such program, headed up by Silen Wellington, is committed to serving the needs of the LGBTQ+ community. This program was initially started by Jay Ytell, with Silen taking over in January of 2021.

Silen’s background is in psychology and music composition, and they are passionate about mental health, advocacy, and community building. As their position focuses especially on LGBTQ+ youth, Silen believes every young person needs a space to explore who they are and be witnessed and celebrated for their unique gifts. “My superpower is creating spaces where people feel safe to come closer to their authentic selves,” shares Silen. 

The services through the LGBTQ+ program help educate the community on how best to support this population. “The most important thing to know about the statistics is that the primary risk factors for suicide [among LGBTQ+ populations] are stigma and mistreatment. It is not that being LGBTQ+ makes people more prone to suicide, but rather that society treats LGBTQ+ people in ways that make them more likely to die by suicide,” Jay explains.

The Alliance works on policy changes and training to create a more inclusive environment for LGBTQ+ populations. They visit schools, businesses, organizations, and public agencies, using a macro approach instead of doing individual work. Non-LGBTQ+ populations receive training on how to treat LGBTQ+ people with respect by helping them understand what terms mean and how to speak in an informed way.

“Language is always evolving and changing, and it is to better our understanding [of the world], and not to make things more complicated. Language makes things more understandable,” shares Jay. Those who do not have LGBTQ+ people in their life may not feel the need to learn more inclusive language and might be more prone to poking fun at things they do not understand. With many in this population still ‘in the closet,’ you never know who you could harm, or how your words could impact their feelings of being ready to come out of the closet.

When Silen works with professionals, they are trained on how to ask questions respectfully and appropriately. They give examples of questions such as “What do you want to be called?” “How do you want to be treated?” and “What can I do to make you feel most comfortable?” There may be other things you want to know that are not appropriate to ask, like sexual preferences.

Choosing respectful language does not always come naturally to people, because the rules of ‘treating everyone the way you want to be treated,’ do not always apply to LGBTQ+ populations. People who do not understand this population’s preferences often convey the message that the person is wrong, or there is something wrong with them for their gender or sexuality. It questions the validity of who they are.

The Alliance has some great LGBTQ+ programs to help address training needs, targeting schools and educational settings. Individuals and organizations can request training or reach out with questions. Below is information about the two trainings currently offered through the Alliance for Suicide Prevention of Larimer County:

The ABCs of LGBTQ+ is a training that focuses on the basics of the LGBTQ+ community. The training includes information about different identities, the importance of language and labels, and how to be a better ally. If you’re curious about LGBTQ+ topics, have some questions that you’ve always wanted to ask, or wish to learn what all the letters mean, this training is for you.

LGBTQ+ How to Be a Trusted Adult is a training where we’ll explore how to get comfortable talking about LGBTQ+ issues, go over some dos and don’ts when engaging with LGBTQ+ youth, and talk about what to do when someone comes out to you.

Both trainings are free of charge and can be scheduled as requested. Silen will be giving the LGBTQ+ How to be a Trusted Adult training as part of the Alliance for Suicide’s Trusted Adult summer series June 22nd at 6 pm and July 13th at 1 pm. If you would like to sign up or set up a training for your organization, please contact Silen at [email protected].

Other resources that offer support for LGBTQ+ populations:

• The Trevor Project, founded in 1998, is a national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQ+ people under the age of 25. The website (thetrevorproject.org) is a great resource for LGBQT+ youth and those needing guidance on how best to work with these populations. It includes a suicide hotline for those in crisis, offering 24/7 support by trained professionals. For crisis support through TrevorLifeline: 1-866-488-7386; Text: Text START to 678-678; TrevorChat: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help-now/
• One Colorado is Colorado’s source for LGBTQ+ advocacy and resources: https://one-colorado.org
• PFLAG provides nationwide support and resources: https://pflag.org
• GLAAD, founded in 1985, rewrites the script for LGBTQ+ acceptance : https://www.glaad.org
• SPLASH Youth of Northern Colorado for local events : https://splashnoco.org
• Student resources: https://couponfollow.com/research/resources-guide-for-lgbtq-students

“Visibility is the most important thing in the fight for LGBTQ+ rights,” explains Jay. Just 30-40 years ago, not many people knew someone who was openly gay. Gay rights did not hit the public eye until the 1980s. “Just existing and being visible as a member of the LGBTQ+ community helps bring awareness. It is a big burden to carry, but a lot of times it brings connection to people who previously didn’t have any reason for any of this to mean anything in their life,” explains Jay. Having someone we know and care about impacted makes topics pertinent and real.

In our society, there is a history of treating people differently. We see the effects of that with ‘Black Lives Matter’ and the ‘Me Too Movement.’ The LGBTQ+ populations experience similar discrimination ingrained in societal norms. People may not intentionally say offensive things, but due to a lack of understanding, words and symbols can still be hurtful. The reality is that these topics impact all of us, and the more we can educate ourselves, the more we can create real positive change for the future.