Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town…Literally!

Jonson Kuhn | North Forty News

Sure, everybody knows Santa, or everybody at least “thinks” they know Santa.  Maybe a better way of saying it is that everybody knows “a” Santa; whether it was at some various mall or perhaps on a float in a parade or you once saw him necking with your mother late at night in the kitchen, one way or another, we’ve all seen a version of Santa Claus…but what if I were to tell you that very recently my eight-year-old daughter Mia and I met “the” Santa, and better than that…he’s actually right in downtown Fort Collins.

Look, I’m jeopardizing my job by even talking about this and my boss will probably fire me, but you have a right to know, so here are the details: head on over to Old Town Square near the ice-skating rink and look for an unassuming shack titled “Santa’s Workshop.”  The hours in which to catch him vary, so it’s best to refer to his calendar.

My daughter and I camped out for what felt like days but might have more realistically been just a few minutes, one can never know these things for certain.  Eventually, I’m happy to report, the waiting paid off as at one point Santa Claus magically appeared from nowhere! Or the public bathroom. Nowhere or the public bathroom; my back was turned, I’m not entirely sure, but it felt like Christmas magic either way!

Santa, being the jolly old soul that he is, was kind enough to grant Mia and I an interview while he settled into his workshop for the morning.  My daughter had her list of very well thought out questions prepared because she follows in the footsteps of her very professional father who also, had his own list of questions prepared for Santa. What follows is a transcript of that very interview.

MIA: How do you get into homes without chimneys?

SANTA: That’s a very good question, you see all of these keys here on Santa’s belt?  What I do is I use these magic keys because one of them is always going to fit.  But for the homes with those special electronic keypads on the doors in place of locks, Santa’s learned over the years that most moms and dads just use their birthdays for the code.

MIA: How many elves do you currently have?

SANTA: Current count?  See, because some of them go on vacation some years, right?  Current count: 759 elves I have this year.

MIA: How do you and your elves make and deliver toys so quickly?

SANTA: Well, so, right after Christmas what we all do is we take about two months off, we all just settle down and take a long winter’s rest.  But then we start all over again early in March and we start prepping all of the gifts.

MIA: What are all of your reindeer’s names?

SANTA: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph and Steve.

MIA: Steve?

SANTA: He’s training.

MIA: What is your favorite type of cookie?

SANTA: Boy, okay, I get asked that every day; do you have a favorite?

MIA: My favorite cookie is chocolate chip.

SANTA: Well, my problem is I can’t think of a cookie Santa’s tried that I haven’t liked.

JONSON: With all due respect, Santa, that hardly seems like a “problem” at all.  Now, if you don’t mind, I just had a few questions of my own.  For instance, in all the years you’ve been doing this, have you ever been charged and/or convicted of breaking and entering?

SANTA: I did have one occasion, but court cases are pending and I’m not sure what I’m legally allowed to discuss at this time without my attorney present.

JONSON: No, I understand, that’s fair.  Here’s another question: we all know, of course, Christmas is just one day, so like what keeps you busy the other 364 days out of the year?

SANTA: Do you know how many children there are in the world?

JONSON: Far too many?

SANTA: Well, not too many for Santa.  So, one of the things that keeps us busy all year is that we want to try, and we don’t always succeed but I do my best with the help of Mrs. Claus and my elves, to try and make sure that every child has a wonderful Christmas.

JONSON: Really?  I was thinking more like hobbies like scrapbooking or Pilates, but that’s works, too.

MIA: One last question, you always ask everyone else what they want for Christmas but what we want to know is what do you want for Christmas?

SANTA: What I want for Christmas?  For every child to know they’re loved and for every child to have a wonderful Christmas.

MIA: I knew it, I told you, dad!

JONSON: It’s a pretty good answer.

SANTA: That’s all Santa wants.

And it’s all North Forty wants, as well, for that matter.  So, happy holidays to you and yours, may they all be merry and bright! For more information, please visit downtownfortcollins.com/event/santas-workshop.