12 Undeniable Truths of Life (During Trying Times)

Phil Goldstein

During the challenging times that all of us have endured over the last year, maintaining a good solid belief foundation is more important than ever. While I’m not usually one to offer unsolicited help or advice, I’ve decided to present my personal 12 Undeniable Truths of Life, hoping that within this collective wisdom of mine, you will find a literary pathway that eases your anxiety over the unfortunate circumstances in which we still find ourselves:

1. Whatever line I wait in at the supermarket, bank or gas station will always be the longest. 
2. The less mainstream one looks and acts, the more grateful one should be for a low unemployment rate.
3. Steely Dan’s song, “Aja”, played loudly in a darkened room on a good audio system is practically a religious experience. 
4. In any controversial discourse, insightful always trumps inciteful.
5. I am sure hotels refill those little bottles of shampoo, lotion and mouthwash, but I cannot prove it.
6. When seeking answers about something important, there is always one more question you should have asked, and when negotiating the price of a car, no matter how good the deal appears, you will always leave money on the table.
7. Anyone proclaiming oneself a perfectionist is obviously not. 
8. One can either not suffer fools gladly or be good at patronizing, but not both.
9. It is almost a crime not to experience New Belgium’s Tour de Fat as a participant at least once in one’s life (unfortunately, just not last year).
10. I am pretty sure Steve McQueen never wore sandals.
11. There is no statement more disingenuous than that of the $5 million-salaried college coach who says, “I’m just in it for the kids.”
12. Of all my favorite TV show episodes, why do I only now question how the Flintstones could have celebrated Christmas?

Now if that didn’t give you comfort, I don’t know how else I can help. 

Phil Goldstein writes Tales from Timnath periodically for North Forty News. Phil is a 10-year Timnath resident who serves the Town of Timnath as chair of the Timnath Planning Commission. Phil is finally using his journalism degree after getting sidetracked 47 years ago. The views expressed herein are Phil’s only. Contact him with comments on the column or suggestions for future columns at [email protected].