by Phil Goldstein | NorthFortyNews.com
When I was just starting college, my parents suggested that studying finance, as they both did, would be helpful if I hoped to someday manage the family business interests. I didn’t take their advice, studying journalism instead. But they humored me and still paid for the degree I earned. I then didn’t use that education for 44 years when I got sidetracked by other career opportunities.
But I finally dusted off that diploma in 2017 when the first of three area publications asked me to write, followed in 2020 by the opportunity to write this column for North Forty News. I regret that my parents never lived to see their ‘investment’ pay off. But every year when Mother’s Day and Father’s Day come around, I’m reminded that whatever success I’ve had in life is because I followed most of my parents’ other advice, specifically:
There’s an important distinction between a good experience and good experience. Partying all night with friends might have been the former, but it certainly wasn’t the latter.
Regarding matrimony, Dad offered that the best answer to a question was, “Why don’t you tell me what to say, and I’ll agree,” and that any suggestion I made should be followed by, “or not.”
Around the age of four, Dad began calling me ‘yabut’. It took several years before I realized that this wasn’t an endearing nickname, but rather, his attempt to remind me of how I disrespectfully replied to his and Mom’s behavior corrections.
Regarding personal relationships: Don’t go along to get along; avoid obsequious following of those who haven’t earned it; and, especially, don’t try keeping up with the Joneses, BE the Joneses.
Never hang anything on your body that you wouldn’t hang on the wall.
Running 100 miles a week, training for marathons, might be good for your heart, but it can’t be good for your joints, which is no doubt why I now have my own wing at the orthopedic center.
You can’t not do the right thing… which is different from, you must not do the wrong thing.
Regarding business relationships: When the other fellas say, “One for all and all for one,” what they really mean is, “Every man for himself.”
There’s value in listening to and learning from interesting people you might encounter instead of talking about yourself. However, steer clear of narcissistic know-it-alls, for when someone says they know something for a fact, they usually don’t.
Finally, and most valuably: You can either suffer fools gladly or get better at patronizing, but not both.
Thanks, Mom and Dad. Other than not listening about that journalism thing (even though it worked out), I hope I got the rest of these right, because I really did try.
Phil Goldstein is in his 7th year writing Tales from Timnath for North Forty News. Phil is a 16-year Timnath resident who is finally using his West Virginia University journalism degree after getting sidetracked 53 years ago. The views expressed herein are Phil’s only. Contact him with comments on the column at [email protected].