Tales from Timnath: Why Do I…

Phil Goldstein

Presenting my ‘Why do I?’ column. I’m writing it in response to the friend and frequent NFN column commenter who asked why I write so often about things I don’t get (see 9/19/20 column) or won’t do (see 8/27/20 column). He suggested I take a more positive approach for once—especially because of all the bad news of late—and write a column about why I did do certain things. So, aiming to please, even one reader at a time, I now offer the following explanations why I:

• wear a wind-up wristwatch. Because everybody else wears watches that do quite a bit… but they don’t require winding, so I’m keeping the skill relevant;
• still drive an internal combustion vehicle, not electric. It seems like a no-brainer—5 minutes at the gas station versus 90 minutes at a charging station;
• have an appreciation for quality vehicles. You would too if the family car you drove on dates was a rusty 1960 Studebaker station wagon;
• forego social media. I’m just not that interesting… and telling the whole world we’re leaving our house vacant while on vacation starting next Tuesday sure doesn’t seem like a good idea;
• keep my cell phone in my pocket, not on the table, when I arrive at a restaurant. I prefer conversing intelligently, not texting funny symbols to the people sitting right next to me;
•  changed my college major from geology to journalism. I foolishly registered for mineralogy, chemistry and calculus in the same semester, so goodbye rocks, hello North Forty News;
• forthrightly confess that three dogs in our bed is one too many. The difference between two and three is yours truly sleeping in the spare bedroom;
• believe that abuse of one’s status is one of the greatest sins in life, other than not squeezing the gas pump handle fully when other cars are waiting behind you;
• exercise daily. The common tertiary definition of religion reads ‘a pursuit or interest to which someone ascribes supreme importance’. Exercise is my religion;
• initiated a successful Adopt-A-Street trash pickup program here in Timnath. If you can cajole others into doing a dirty job like that, you can do anything;
• have learned that one can either suffer fools gladly or be good at patronizing, but not both; and
• often write opaquely and ambiguously in my columns. I write primarily for my own enjoyment—to stretch myself—and I find such composition more challenging, to say nothing of avoiding libel!

Be well everyone.

Phil Goldstein writes Tales from Timnath periodically for North Forty News. Phil is a 10-year Timnath resident who serves the Town of Timnath as chair of the Timnath Planning Commission. Phil is finally using his journalism degree after getting sidetracked 47 years ago. The views expressed herein are Phil’s only. Contact him with comments on the column or suggestions for future columns at [email protected].