Eating disorders are brutal, forcing a person to either starve themselves or eat every bite of food with regret or guilt. While the person with an eating disorder is often struggling within themselves, what a loved one says can have a profound impact on them, both negatively and positively. Finding the right words can sometimes be difficult, and with eating disorders, the difficulty intensifies. 

Different types of eating disorders impact an individual in various ways, often altering their relationship with food. Due to this, it is still important to be aware of what you say to someone with such disorders. While showing love and reassurance can be immensely helpful, you must understand that there will be times when the ‘voices’ of the disorder can make it challenging for them to see their true worth. Being patient and offering constant reassurance will ensure they do not give in and continue working towards their well-being. 

Why Being Gentle Matters

A person with an eating disorder is often struggling with how they feel about themselves and how they view food. The complexities of such a dynamic relationship are difficult for an ordinary person to understand. 

As a result, there will be times when you might be unable to understand why they behave a certain way. Rest assured, such erratic behavior shifts are common and are a call for help. If you are unsure how to comfort someone with an eating disorder (especially during an episode), these are some phrases you can consider using. 

I Love You, and I Care About You

While your actions are going to be aimed at offering them unconditional support, saying out loud that you love and care for them will surely warm up their hearts. Oftentimes, even when we know the other person loves us, a sense of stability and belonging comes when they express it. Telling a loved one with an eating disorder that they are loved and cared for ensures they are able to find refuge in you and see you as an ally during their times of healing and recovery. 

I May Not Understand Fully, but I’m Always Here To Help or Simply Listen

A person with an eating disorder (or any mental disorder, for that matter) will always find it challenging to share what they are going through. While they will be coming up with alternative ways to express themselves, it will never be close to what they are going through. By making it clear that you may not fully understand their struggles and challenges, you are lifting the burden of explaining everything they are going through. 

Getting a neutral point of view from a loved one can sometimes be the reassurance one needs to ground themselves. Tell them how willing you are to discuss their struggles without carrying the commitment of giving advice. At the same time, consider researching eating disorders, their types, and how they impact a person to understand their triggers and glimmers better. 

If You Need Company, I’m Just a Call/Text Away

Having a company makes it easier to go through the toughest of times without losing hope. By offering to be there for your loved ones, you can ensure they have someone they can trust during an episode. Recovery is complex and can be exhausting sometimes. 

So, if you see your loved one struggling to maintain personal hygiene, do laundry on time, or even wash the plates after finishing their meals, avoid being a critic and instead choose to be someone who offers help, support, and care. 

I’m So Proud of You

Hearing that someone is proud of you, especially when you are struggling to stay consistent, instantly boosts one’s confidence and motivation to continue healing. There are times during the healing process when the person feels they can’t do it anymore (the times when the disorder seems to be winning), but learning someone believes in them instantly sparks the motivation to continue healing and taking care of oneself. 

Bottomline

Eating disorders can make it immensely challenging for a person to live their life to the fullest. The limiting beliefs, the constant voice in their heads telling them a negative narrative, and the triggers can make it challenging for them to lead a fulfilling life. Offering unconditional support and love will ensure they can go through the ups and downs of the healing process with confidence.