by Phil Goldstein | NorthFortyNews.com
It’s the end of November, hence some Thanksgiving is in order. First and foremost, thanks to North Forty News Publisher Blaine Howerton for providing this forum over the last 5-plus years and 73 columns. What started out as merely news and information about our little town soon morphed into the satirical soapbox that I found immensely helpful in addressing life’s frustrations and frustraters. The ‘Independent’ in the NFN masthead has done wonders for the success of Blaine’s publication as well as my frequent inclination to push the satire envelope. Please support independent Northern Colorado journalism by donating to NFN.
I’m certainly thankful for my wife, Amy. She tolerates my obsessive quirks—although I don’t know what’s wrong with cleaning the mousetraps in the dishwasher. She’s also the in-house editor who reads my stuff and says, “Independent publication or not, you can’t say that!”
I’m thankful for advice given me by my parents, although I didn’t always listen. For instance, they strongly suggested I get a business degree so I could mind the family interests. Instead, I opted for a journalism degree, which they reluctantly still financed, then I didn’t use it for over 40 years until NFN and other publications came calling. Unfortunately, Mom and Dad didn’t live long enough to see their ‘investment’ pay off.
Relatedly, I’m thankful for other great role models I’ve had besides my parents. I’m even grateful for those who were the opposite. From them I’ve learned what not to do.
I’m thankful that I finally learned to better prioritize my hobbies. In particular, I decided that I’d rather be a good drummer—I play in a band based in my home studio, with performances at various area venues—than a better pickleball player. Three pickleball-induced orthopedic surgeries in less than two years wisely helped me shift my focus.
I’m glad that I’ve mastered disingenuous patronization, which is helpful for killing time at boring parties until I get to go home. The art of ‘all-about-me’ can be your best friend in these situations.
Thanks to Timnath Town Council and Mayors past and present for giving me the opportunity to serve the town on its Planning Commission these last 15 years. When the work goes smoothly, it’s immensely rewarding. And when it doesn’t, getting it right anyway is even more gratifying. I’m also indebted to my colleagues who’ve entrusted me with their chairmanship for 12 years and to my longtime vice chair, without whom I couldn’t do this important work.
I’m thankful that I’ve learned the art of reverse domestic psychology, as in, “I’d sure like to get dressed up and eat out tonight,” when what I really prefer is eating at home. I also learned a more prudent means of asking Amy’s opinion on any matter. No longer do I express my thoughts first, then ask hers. Now I innocently raise the issue, ask her what she thinks, then heartily concur.
I’m even thankful for incompetent people. Imagine how much more competitive the world would be if everyone was better at what they did.
Finally, I’m thankful for the many NFN readers who let me know that they appreciate my work, especially the satirical writing that’s my usual style. Knowing there are plenty of people who relate to my farcical musings is certainly worth celebrating on the fourth Thursday in November.
Phil Goldstein is in his fifth year writing Tales from Timnath for North Forty News. Phil is a 15-year Timnath resident who is finally using his West Virginia University journalism degree after getting sidetracked 52 years ago. The views expressed herein are Phil’s only. Contact him with comments on the column at [email protected].
